Too young for one so old.

People say that when your ready for love, it's harder to find it, and I say "Amen".

I recently took myself "off the market" but the problem was, is that nobody really knew it. I guess when you think your dating someone, the other person should probably agree to dating just you too. I started dating someone who was younger than me, but I don't know if you can really even call what we were doing as "dating". I'm 25 and he's 22....I know your already starting to do your eye roll, but please people...just read on.

Mr. 22 and I get along great. There really is no exaggeration there. I admire him as a person, no one can say that he isn't a great friend, or just a good person in general. He works hard, and loves to have fun. He snores like a freaking bull but that's okay, because it's kinda cute too. The one main thing that gets my heart is the way he is with Kyra.

So Mr. 22 isn't ready for a serious thing, and how could I possibly be mad at that? Hell, when I was 22, I was out every single night, not a care in the world, burning up way too many brain cells than I had available to lose. Mr. 22 is in that stage where that's what he wants to do, and he's absolutely able to do it, I think I'm actually a little envious, but don't tell him that. I had more fun with 22 than I've had in a while.

I think the hardest part about breaking up with someone that I was never with to begin with is that I need to find my nitch again. I mean I was with this guy and his friends almost every weekend and throughout most of the week for the past 4 months, and they've all grown to love my little mini-me. It's hard to think about not spending time with the people I now consider my friends, even though it's a constant thing for them to make fun of me, I've grown to love it and now don't really want to see that gone.

Although I actually wanted to be in a relationship with 22, there were thoughts I had about it that scared me too. I'm definitely afraid of settling down and not being able to come and go as I please all the time. I don't want to not be able to pack up and travel to see my girlfriends out of state every few months, or going out and having to tell someone my plans or worry about money for the two of us all the time. I like not worrying if someone texts me that I'll get in trouble, I also like the fact that I can say the words "No, I'm single" if some gorgeous guy approaches me to ask me out. But really, I can't look at you in the eye and lie and say that any of those things would really make me risk love if I had it. Mr. 22 and I will continue to be friends but I can't keep putting him in the center of my world. I gotta say though, I'll miss that stupid cocky smile.

Now I'm back people, and once again diving into the dating cesspool. Oh geez.