Now before I begin with this story, let's get one thing clear, I do not discriminate when it comes to men. I love all types, big or small, black or white. I just love men. I've dated everything from Cowboys, to Ganstas, Nerds to Jocks. Just wanted to get that out in the open.
I work for a pretty nice company, I actually love my job, I don't talk to very many people in my department since most happen to be older. One of the closest to my age just happens to look a lot like Big Foot. I would say he almost looks primative, 6'7 with massive shoulders, a nose that takes up his entire face and when he walks his hands are turned and curled much like an apes. If you were to take a look at him you would quickly believe in Darwin's "Theory of Evolution". We will call him Yeti.
Yeti and I never said a word to each other, until one day, I just happened to be standing at the printer. It was Friday, almost the end of the day and I was in a good mood. Yeti comes walking past me to his desk and I just look up, smile, and tell him that maybe if he smiled once in a while, I wouldn't think he was so miserable. Big mistake.
Not even five minutes later, an Instant Message pops up on my screen from Yeti, commenting on how he isn't miserable, and talking to me would really make him smile more. Gag. I've told you all before and I'll tell you again, but I am honestly just too nice for my own good. I try and be nice and just talk to Yeti, in a friendly manner, but soon I notice he's trying to flirt. 5:30 rolls around and I quickly log off my computer and head out the door, when sure enough as I'm pushing open the big glass doors a hand the size of a baseball glove hits the door above my head, I turn around and Yeti is following me out the door. Seriously, he's scarier close up. I tell him to have a nice weekend and bolt it to my car.
Monday comes along. I haven't been logged in my computer for less than a minute before Yeti pops up on my screen. Again, I'm just too nice. He asks if he can see pictures of my daughter and show me pictures of his son. Of course. All of the sudden I see a hand come over the side of my cubicle, accompanied by a nose and two scary looking eyes. I literally have to stand on a chair to see the top of my cubicle, and this man is standing on the ground looking IN my cubicle. He hands me a stack of pictures, I go through them and notice in one that he is with a woman, when I ask who it is, he tells me...his wife. I did notice then that he was wearing a wedding band, which actually calmed my fear of him a little.
Until....Yeti asks me on a date. Yes people, the married gargantuan father of one asked me on a date to a Real Salt Lake soccer game. I am curious, so I when I asked him about his wife he replied that they were "separated". I'm sorry, but does anyone else see a huge problem with this situation?
One-Yeti, just came BEHIND my desk to show me pictures of his wife and kid. Two-I do not date married men, and even if he were divorced/single whatever, I'd still say no because of reason three-being alone with him would make me fearful for my life.
I was nice. I told him that I couldn't date a married man and that I don't date anyone if I have to be kept a secret. I also threw in that I make it a rule not to date any co-workers. Since then any time Yeti tries to strick up a conversation with me, I don't respond, I just close the conversation. I think he's slowly getting the hint. Just my luck though, that once I'm actually single and ready to mingle, I get asked out my a damn Sasquatch.
Happy Dating :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
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LMAO!!
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